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The Complex Reality of Loneliness in America

Loneliness in the United States is more widespread—and more complicated—than many people realize. According to a September 2024 Pew Research Center survey of over 6,200 adults, one in six Americans say they feel lonely or socially isolated most of the time. The report, Men, Women and Social Connections, shows that loneliness isn’t just about how many friends people have, but how they form, maintain, and rely on social bonds.

Men and Women Feel Lonely at Similar Rates

In recent years, public discussion has focused on a so-called “male loneliness epidemic.” Research, including the 2021 American Perspectives Survey, found that men’s friendship circles have shrunk more sharply than women’s since 1990. Pew’s data supports this trend:

• 20% of men report having no close friends
• Compared with 17% of women

Despite this, men and women report similar levels of loneliness. Across all respondents:

• 16% feel lonely most of the time
• 38% feel lonely sometimes
• 47% rarely or never feel lonely

Where Men Fall Behind: Emotional Support

The key difference isn’t how often loneliness is felt—but where people turn when they need support. While about 75% of both men and women say they rely on a spouse or partner, women are significantly more likely to seek help beyond that relationship.

• 44% of women turn to extended family, compared to 26% of men
• Nearly one-third of women would reach out to their fathers, versus 27% of men
• 22% of women say they would seek help from a mental health professional, compared to 16% of men

According to Kim Parker, director of social trends research at Pew, this gap means men may not receive the same level of support even when they experience loneliness.

The Role of Social Norms

Experts say cultural expectations play a major role. Researcher Niobe Way, who has studied boys and young men for decades, explains that many men are taught that expressing emotional needs is a weakness.
“Reaching out shows vulnerability,” she notes—and society often labels that as something men should avoid.

A Deeper Issue Than Friendship Counts

The findings suggest that loneliness in America isn’t simply about having friends—it’s about permission to connect, emotional openness, and access to support systems. Addressing loneliness may require not just more social opportunities, but a cultural shift in how connection and vulnerability are valued.